A month or so ago, my daughter and I were discussing the boggarts from Harry Potter - monsters that take the form of what you fear most. We were trying to figure out what our boggarts might look like, but couldn't immediately come up with an answer. You'd think that it would be simple, but it wasn't.
Some things seemed obvious - what if something terrible happened to my daughter? But then again, what if something happened to me before she was old enough to be on her own? There's no one I can trust to look after her. Or what if I went completely broke, became homeless and couldn't care for her?
Well, soon after, I got sick and it was a scare for her and me (though I'm doing better now, thanks) then the payroll department at work messed up and didn't process my FMLA as sick leave, so I was out of a paycheck at the same time my ex decided he didn't feel like paying child support and is now two months behind - JUST when the people I've been subletting from said they needed to come back and I have to be out by the end of the month, and have no clue where or how I'll move. I'll not only not have the finances for it, but I also won't have much physical help packing & moving. My daughter has been fainting for some reason lately and hit her head on some bricks when she went down the other day. We spent 4 hours in the emergency room, where fortunately her EKG and CT were normal, but she does have a concussion. (She still has follow-up appointments with her doctor, but they seem to think it's probably just low blood sugar and nothing too serious, thank goodness.) Plus, this week she received all day detention every Saturday through the end of the school year for skipping so many classes.
So, let's see here... what did I say my biggest fears were?
That'll teach me.
But in spite of it, I'm surprisingly hopeful that things will work. I've only gotten tiny tastes of my biggest fears lately, and while they were nerve wracking, I'm grateful it wasn't worse.
I used to think one of my biggest fears would be revealing too much about myself and appearing foolish. I also used to fret over what people would think/say about my work. You know what? That's nothing. Barely worth giving a second thought.
Stewart blogged today about looking for that delicious thrill of fear that he used to get from horror stories or his own imagination, but which no longer have much effect. I think it's just that real life has so many boggarts hiding in every cupboard that ghosts and ghoulies are child's play in comparison.
What does your boggart look like? Have you ever used it in your writing?
Some things seemed obvious - what if something terrible happened to my daughter? But then again, what if something happened to me before she was old enough to be on her own? There's no one I can trust to look after her. Or what if I went completely broke, became homeless and couldn't care for her?
Well, soon after, I got sick and it was a scare for her and me (though I'm doing better now, thanks) then the payroll department at work messed up and didn't process my FMLA as sick leave, so I was out of a paycheck at the same time my ex decided he didn't feel like paying child support and is now two months behind - JUST when the people I've been subletting from said they needed to come back and I have to be out by the end of the month, and have no clue where or how I'll move. I'll not only not have the finances for it, but I also won't have much physical help packing & moving. My daughter has been fainting for some reason lately and hit her head on some bricks when she went down the other day. We spent 4 hours in the emergency room, where fortunately her EKG and CT were normal, but she does have a concussion. (She still has follow-up appointments with her doctor, but they seem to think it's probably just low blood sugar and nothing too serious, thank goodness.) Plus, this week she received all day detention every Saturday through the end of the school year for skipping so many classes.
So, let's see here... what did I say my biggest fears were?
That'll teach me.
But in spite of it, I'm surprisingly hopeful that things will work. I've only gotten tiny tastes of my biggest fears lately, and while they were nerve wracking, I'm grateful it wasn't worse.
I used to think one of my biggest fears would be revealing too much about myself and appearing foolish. I also used to fret over what people would think/say about my work. You know what? That's nothing. Barely worth giving a second thought.
Stewart blogged today about looking for that delicious thrill of fear that he used to get from horror stories or his own imagination, but which no longer have much effect. I think it's just that real life has so many boggarts hiding in every cupboard that ghosts and ghoulies are child's play in comparison.
What does your boggart look like? Have you ever used it in your writing?
Here you are. Thank goodness...I've been worried.
ReplyDeleteAnd GEEZ, Kate..damn, girl. I would recommend a sweet dose of good ole Southern denial, but you're positive attitude has got to be the best medicine.
I'm glad that healthwise you are good and will now be hoping the same for your daughter. It seemed at that age we always had some type of iron deficiency but low blood sugar does make sense.
School will be out soon, huh? And maybe she'll see the irony in having to go on the weekends after missing days during the week.
My boggart would have to be Slater in some type of trouble without me being able to get to him. In fact, it's hard to even write that now. He's going to drive soon, and I can't help but want him to just stay in this nice, cozy nest I have worked hard to build. Please don't fly little bird...Momma's scared you might fall. Uggghhhh!
Keep the faith, Kate.
The Taoists say that everything works out the way it needs to, regardless of what you think of it at the time, but, when you're living it, it's not much comfort, huh?
ReplyDeleteMy boggart would be eternity. I'm not sure how that would look, or even if it would fit inside the closet, but that's what scares me the most -- endless unchangingness.
Wow, Kate, what a month! I'm glad everything is working out. I don't know how you do it. Gosh, I'm thinking lots of good luck thoughts, for you!
ReplyDeleteUm, after seeing what happened after you thought about your boggarts, i think I'll stick to positive thinking for awhile, LOL.
SUSAN - thanks for your good thoughts (and the boob wish!) :) I know what you mean about Slater. Emily will be 15 this summer - time to get her driver's permit. (Assuming she earns it - I told her if her grades don't come up by the end of the year, she'll have to wait until she's 16.) It's so scary, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteAVERY - I also believe that things work out the way they're supposed to, but that doesn't stop it from sucking in the meantime. :) I've read about other people who have the same fear as you. It's one I've never understood, but apparently you aren't alone in it.
SPYSCRIBBLER - Thanks for the good wishes! I think you're right to continue to think positive. I don't think I'll be contemplating "the worst that can happen" again! lol
I hope you're feeling better also.
Becky, I'm sending healthy and prosperous vibes your way--for both you and your daughter. Things really do happen in threes. Hopefully good things will happen in threes for you--soon!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Spy. After what happened to you, I'm not even thinking of the worst. Instead I'll double my efforts to think of the best that can happen.
Wow, Kate! Just glad all is well now. How scary to be sick, then have that happen to your daughter. Okay, I'm with the gals here, focus on great stuff only. Don't want to wake those Harry Potter things up again. lol Do take care!
ReplyDeletehey chicky....yes we all have our monsters...and I use them in my stories often....good luck to you and your daughter all will be fine in the end, we all need to go trough stuff....:)
ReplyDeleteEdie & LaDonna - I'm with you - no more considering the worst! From now on, only think about the best things that can happen. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Etain! Good to see you again - hope the Brits are treating you well. :)
oh boggarts are really difficult to draw..have a good day.
ReplyDeleteThanks - and thanks for dropping by, Pankaj
ReplyDeleteKate, a pretty rough trot you're having - I would never have guessed from your usually up-beat posts. Hang in there, though, someone with your positive outlook is bound to be able to figure things through.
ReplyDeleteBoy, the Harry Potter stories would have been a bit intricate if they had to personify all that into a single, creepy-crawly beastie! I wonder what the class would have done to "nuetralise" your boggart?
Thanks, Donkey. Those are good questions... I guess if they were all rolled into one hideous beast it would probably look a bit like me first thing in the morning. :)
ReplyDelete