(Or, alternately titled, "Whereat Kate Gets Her @ss Kicked Again, But in a Good Way")
Magical Mondays started as a way to share some of the unusual and sometimes sublime moments of intuition and unexplained phenomena people experience on occasion. Sometimes the events are striking, sometimes subtle. The past two weeks have been the latter for me.
A week ago, I took a few minutes a day to ask my subconscious to tell me what I really wanted. After a few days, it suddenly showed me a clear picture.
However, over the past two weeks, I've also been experiencing a great deal of stress at work and have had several "aha" moments where I've realized that I've let other people walk all over me my entire life. Then, during the past couple of days of peak stress and aggravation, I started asking myself: Have I done something to contribute to these people thinking they can be such jerks to me? Am I enabling their condescension? Is there some part of me that really believes I deserve it?
But then I kept thinking that, no, I truly didn't believe that they were better than I am, so what was the deal? Were they simply buttheads and I was innocent of any fault? But if that was the case, why did they bother me so much?
So, once more I put out a call to my subconscious/higher self/universe/guardian angel/collective unconscious/god/higher power/whomever (as Wayne Dyer says, you can call it "Louise" if you like), and asked, what am I missing here?
After asking again before I went to bed last night, I had the following dream...
I had gone into a cellar to get some rope then saw that it wasn't a cellar, but it was my grave. Even though I was still alive, I knew the future me was dead and buried in there just behind a door to my right. There was mold all around and it was pretty creepy. I was both fascinated and scared by my own grave, but realized I shouldn't be in there just yet. As I walked out of it and shut the door firmly behind me, a song started playing very loudly, and these were the words:
It doesn't matter how young or old you are.
It doesn't matter what you do.
It doesn't matter what they think,
If you matter to you.
Do you matter?
Do you matter to you?
I woke up suddenly from the dream with the song still playing in my head, and knew it really doesn't matter what those supercilious sh*ts think. I DO matter to me, and they're about to find out just how much. I'm not ready to lie down and die just yet. :)
How about you? Anything feel particularly empowering lately?