Saturday, December 09, 2006


I'm having a bit of trouble lately... I can't seem to work on anything with any real dedication since I've not yet been able to get the contract with Aphrodite's Apples squared away. It's weird. This has been going on since I first found out my story was accepted, which was a few months ago. I thought it would finally be over when I got the new contract yesterday, only to find I still had one more question. Ack!

I know this is not good -- I can't put my writing life on hold waiting for each little thing to be worked out. The very nature of this business means there will be long periods of waiting between projects while things are settled: submit, wait; rejected, try again; accepted, contract negotiations, revisions, etc. All of this takes time - weeks, months, even years! If I stop writing while I'm waiting, I may never have another thing published!

I've been reading "Write it Down, Make it Happen" by Henriette Anne Klauser (a book Edie Ramer recommended) and Klauser brought up how resistance always means something. We just need to get to the bottom of why we're resisting. (In my case, the resistance is manifesting in writer's block.) Even as I type now, a few thoughts came to mind.

One, I'm afraid that somehow something will go wrong with the contract and I won't be published and I'll feel like I've wasted all this time and effort and will feel very foolish.

Two, I'm afraid that I'm really a poor writer and everyone will know it once they read my stuff - there are so many good writers out there, some of whom are much better writers than I am and have yet to be published, who will all be wondering why did *she* get a lucky break?

Three, I'm a neurotic perfectionist who knows her work isn't perfection and gets a little queasy at the thought of other people knowing it too. Actually, three is part of two.

Hmm... You know, that book is onto something. She said just start writing about your resistance without thinking it through too much, and I just did that in the previous paragraphs/sentences. (Thank you for sitting through my stream of consciousness prattle if you've read this far.) I think I see a theme: I'm terrified of looking like a fool. Which brings to mind an interesting coincidence (or would it be a "Go! Incident"?) - the blog at Magical Musings today was about learning from our mistakes.

I'd better go read it again, and remind myself that "failure" is only "feedback." Even if I still don't like it. :-)


  1. Kate, I'm so glad the book's helping you. I've heard so many stories of writers who stopped writing after they sold their first book. Allison Brennan did something like that too. Obviously it was not a fluke for her -- and it's not one for you either. Write on!

    (And thanks for mentioning me and Magaical Musings.:))

  2. Thanks, Edie. And you're welcome, too. I can't say enough positive things about you ladies at Magical Musings. :)

    You know, I remember now that I read something about Allison's experience - thanks for reminding me. I'm going to have to look it up and read it again.

  3. Nice to know that you're figuring it out. You're right ... there's a reason for the resistence and your subconscious is telling you that.

    You can't stop work on future books waiting for that first one. I'm already working on a tie in with the first book Samhain contracted for. Can't slow down ... you'll get run over. LOL.

  4. You'll overcome it, Rebecca. Sounds like you're on the right path already.

  5. Thanks, Liz and Michelle. Good point about getting run over, Liz, and good luck with the next book!

  6. Kate, I've been there. I had moments of "blocked" every time I got a good bite on a project. You can imagine. hehe. It wasn't fun, not even close to being professional. Thankfully, I'm able to let paritals and fulls go now without the "block" feeling. Now, I'm just trying to get through the holidays in one piece. LOL. I intend getting Edie's book also. She has such great "ideas."

  7. Thanks for dropping by, LaDonna! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one - and glad that you were able to overcome it. You'll have to share your secret with me. :) I'm still working on it, but I'm getting tougher on myself, so I think any day now...

    Like you, I'm just trying to make it through this month - it's been a killer and today has been no exception. Unfortunately, there's no end in site to the stress that I can forsee for the next several months. :( My day job (on top of the holidays) has been torture lately and we're gearing up for more.

    Deep breaths... :)

  8. Kate, Liz talks about her "day in hell" all the time. I worked in retail for a long time, and Christmas was always the worst time of the year. I was so happy when I quit.

    Good luck! You'll get through it.


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