Thursday, January 25, 2007

I need a wife, and other things...

There was a fire drill early this morning at my office. It was about 16 degrees outside and we all had to huddle out in the cold for what felt like hours, but in reality was only about ten minutes. There were construction workers nearby digging ditches, laying marble over concrete stairs and other things. Most of the poor guys were on the ground, in holes, or sitting on concrete--they had to be freezing. I felt so bad for them and hoped they were being paid well and had good wives they could to home to for warmth and comfort. That's when it hit me. I need a wife. :)

I want to come home from a long day at the office and have dinner waiting for me, the laundry done, the house clean, and my daughter well taken care of. I want someone who will make sure my bills are all paid on time and that the bathroom is already warm when I go in to take a shower.

I used to be that kind of wife; now I need one. I could use some help around here. And for that privilege, I'd pay for all her expenses, buy her pretty clothes, and she wouldn't even have to sleep with me. :)

Now, speaking of people helping people (well, actually in this case, it's going to be about people helping animals),
Sidney Williams posted a link on his blog about an organization that is currently looking for short stories to sell for two months (they don't buy the rights--just use the story for those two months), the proceeds of which go to help rescue animals. You can check it out here.


  1. If you find out there's a Wives R Us franchise, let me know too. She'll even get her own half-furnished apartment in my basement. :)

  2. Yeah, what marcia said....except no basement just private bedroom, sunroom and bath. It really is a fabulous idea!

    When I was married my friends and I had talked of purchasing a large house...maybe some type of commune. We are all professionals and felt we could easily take care of the bills. The key was to have a list of males that could be called in times of need. Some of the rules were complete physicals to be done and updated as requested..and no male in the bathroom or kitchen.

    Funny to think about now that I am divorced and rules change out of simple need.

  3. LOL, Marcia, will do! I'm thumbing through the yellow pages now. :)

  4. Isn't it though, Susan? :)

    I think you and your friends were on to something.

  5. You know, some days I realize how very lucky I am to have my DH. Thanks for reminding me! He doesn't do very well with the clean thing, but he does a lot. :-)

    Hey! It's almost V-Day! Maybe your hubby should hire you one for a day or two!

  6. Well, seeing as how my hubby traded me in for a model that still had that new car smell some years ago, I doubt that will happen! LOL

    See, I'd never do that to my wife. I'd cherish the dents and chips in the paint (especially since I'd have been the one to put them there); wouldn't feel a need to replace with a new one every year if she still ran well and faithfully got me where I needed to go. :) Oh, well. But you know some guys and their cars...

  7. A wife? I showed one of my students a website for primordial dwarfs. He looked like Christmas had come early, exclaiming: "I WANT ONE!!!"

    "They're human beings," I said. "What the hell do you mean 'you want one'?"
    "I could have him go get me stuff from the fridge while I watch tv."

  8. LOL. But I'd let my wife watch tv with me. :)

    I've tried the "use the kid as a slave" thing, but that doesn't work. No, I think a wife is in order. Can't afford a live-in maid--she'd want wages apart from room and board.

  9. I want a wife too.

    Coruse, I'd settle for a housekeeper... :)

  10. Hey, Candice! (waving madly with a big silly grin) Glad you stopped by! :)


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