What a difference a year makes...

This time last January, I was on cloud 9 (or higher, depending on what’s the best.) J

I had quit my full-time job on December 31^st 2014, and was attempting to fly solo for 2015.  Life was beautiful.  Around the end of May last year, however, fear started to settle in.  I’d had a lot of unexpected expenses, also needed to see a doctor but couldn’t afford the Cobra payments and due to bureaucratic snafus with ObamaCare, I had no insurance (don’t get me started), and my daughter was accepted at the expensive college she applied to.  Right about that time, an opportunity came up in a company to work full time with a former boss that I really liked, so I took it and went back to working full-time on 6/8/15.

From then until now, it has been non-stop work and health issues. (I suspect working 60-90 weeks every week, working all holidays and weekends, might have something to do with the health issues, but who’s to say?)

I’ve basically given up my cover art work due to lack of time and energy, as well as the spasms that have developed in my back, right arm, and leg, which cause me to lose control of my limbs at some point nearly every day now. It started getting worse June (hmm… coinciding with the demanding new job… and keeps getting progressively worse.)  I saw a doctor who referred me to a neurologist, but since the insurance I have is awful and can’t afford all those tests, I haven’t been back.  However, the GP seems to think it’s from stress… go figure…

From January 2015 full of hope to January 2016 wondering what the heck I’m going to do now. L

So, since today is my birthday and I’ve been doing a lot of hard thinking the past couple of weeks, I took the day off to think about where I am and what I could change.  Came to the conclusion that self-care, a positive attitude, and daily meditation on all the things I have go be grateful for will help tremendously.  That is what I plan to focus on for the rest of the year. 

I also came up with a writing plan for the year.  Since the art is on hiatus until I can get my arm under control, I’ve installed Dragon dictation software on my computers and have been having fun training my dragon. J  It’s very helpful. In my insanity, I even attempted NaNoWriMo with it in November and made great progress.  Lost my voice for a couple of days, though, from all that talking. J

Am hopeful that with the dictation software and a good plan, I might actually get back to writing again and release a couple of books this year.

Fingers crossed… J

And to you who may be reading this:  I wish you and yours the best year of your lives for 2016.

Transformation News

For the past year or so, I've struggled with finding time to both write and do cover art, and found that I was putting in far more time (voluntarily and otherwise) doing the artwork. Hence, I decided that what little spare time I had might be better spent focusing on the area that seemed to come more naturally to me: artwork.

With that in mind, I started systematically removing references to any books I still had out there (and am in the process of removing the last one, once the rights are reversed).  At the same time, I started highlighting the digital design work more and more.  I had taken a break from it entirely last summer because the day job was too overwhelming, but am now ready to get back in the ring. 

I also started moving away from the "Kate" name on Facebook, Twitter, etc. because I'd always done the book covers for Cobblestone under the name of Rebecca K. Sterling. (Not that "Kate" is going to disappear entirely, mind you - she'll be back eventually, but with a different genre as well.)
  
So, if you start seeing posts under the names of RK Sterling or Rebecca Sterling, no need to wonder who the heck is that... :)

Meanwhile, my new website is up (more to add and tweak, but wanted to get something out there for now):  http://www.sterlingdesignstudios.com/  It's a bit graphic intensive, so it may take a moment to load.  I'm still figuring out how to handle that.

What news would you like to share?

Magical Mondays on a Saturday: Napoleon Hill and Encouragement

The past few days I have been listening to recordings from a Napoleon Hill workshop that I found here: http://archive.org/details/Napoleon_Hill_Rare_Recordings. 

What a blast! I love hearing his voice, and those in the audience when they called out the answers. Most importantly, it reaffirmed many beliefs by which I already live my life, formed by personal experience.

In short, that the power of positive belief, a willingness to go above and beyond what is asked of you, and the keeping of a constant, clear image of what you want (and always working toward it) will take you where you want to go. 

Many people throughout history have written and spoken of these things, so the message is not new.  In short, it boils down to faith backed by action. Imagination, determination, and work. Haven't all things created in this world been brought about by those things?

As I listened to the workshop, I was reminded of so many life experiences that I've had which illustrate the truth of his words, and have been sharing some of those with my daughter to encourage her. And over the next few days and weeks, I want to publicly share some of those experiences in the hope that they will encourage others as well. It has certainly been encouraging to me to reflect on them as I start moving in a new direction with my writing and life. 

I'll post the first one on Monday (9/24/12), and hope you'll join in and be encouraged, too. :)

Time Out

It has been brought to my attention rather forcefully this year that I only have so much time and energy to go around (who knew?), and so I've decided to go into a self-imposed exile for the next year.  I'll be taking down my website and other blogs, and just leaving this one up, because I know that I won't be able to stay completely away. I'd miss you guys too much.  :)

However, I've had a few late night/early morning epiphanies that have left me with the decision to take a year off from attempting to write and create art for profit.  For the next year, I hope to focus on solely the love of the craft(s), as well as reaching deep to discover the things most important to me.  You'd think those things would be self-evident, but they really haven't been for almost two decades now.  I'm calling this: "The Year of Living Honestly: Finding Purpose and Courage in Truth."

Lofty, huh? :)

Yet, it's true.  I've been prone to depression most of my life and felt it coming back lately.  Upon further examination, I discovered that my life has been completely lacking in what I'd call honest purpose since I gave up my religion, husband, and most family and friends 16 years ago.  During one of those 3am soul-searching sessions recently, I asked myself how it was that I used to be so sure of myself, so brave in doing many things that did not come naturally to me, and realized that it was because I BELIEVED in what I was doing. I had the courage of conviction.  Can't say that I've been convinced of much of anything in a long, long time.

Hence, a desire to find out what, if anything, means so much to me that I'd be willing to face anything to protect it.  And to figure that out with as little stress as possible.  I can't quit the day job just yet (much as I would love to!) - still have bills and daughter's tuition to pay.  Though, who knows... I may yet do so.  Her education is important to me, but how it gets achieved and paid for is always up for review.  As are those bills... :)

Nevertheless, I can stop stressing about trying to write, paint, etc. and all the promotional work involved in that to make money from it (which I haven't been doing lately anyway because I haven't had the energy to keep up with it all).  So... that's it.  I'm going to do my best to just create for the sheer joy of it, for the learning that will come from that, and not stress myself out. 

I'll be honest with myself and others about how much I can, or cannot, do.  I'm resolving to not friendly with people I don't like just because they'd be useful to know in my job.  I won't smile at liars, I won't glare at friends, I won't enable the weak to maintain their weaknesses (or my own), and hopefully, I'll find some peace.

Wish me luck. :)