Dangit

Well, there's only today and tomorrow left of my two week challenge and I've had to spend over a week of it working 12-15 hour days for other people, hence I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be.

Such is life. Nevertheless, I did get a little more work done, lost one more pound (hooray - finally broke through that plateau) and even wrote another page on the short erotica piece I had put on hold. I just couldn't stand seeing all three of those blue bars staying in the same place week after week. :)

Oh, well. NaNoWriMo starts Thursday, so I'll just keep plugging away through November. How are the rest of you doing?

TGIF

Quick update - still working hard for everyone else, not much time for me. I did get in a couple of words today - only 3 pages, but every little bit helps, right? I hope to take tomorrow as a painting day and Sunday as a writing day. Let's see if I can get as much done this weekend as I did the last one. That should help make up for the couple of days I had to miss.

From reading your blogs, it looks like everyone else is hard at work too. We're all getting closer to the finish line - keep up the good work!

Remember: "A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit." --Richard Bach

And if you need more inspiration, make sure you have The Write Attitude. :)

Now, since I'm really tired, I'm off to relax a bit.

When it rains...

Steve, Spy, Edie, Avery, Marcia, LaDonna - how's it going out there?

I'm hanging in, but not at the pace I'd hoped for. We were under Murphy's Law yesterday, and today... well, I'm adding a tag of "Magical Mondays" to this blog because let me tell you how it's been.

(Edie & Spy, this one's for you.) :)

Let's see if I can get the timeline straight since I'm still sleep-deprived.

A couple of days ago, I worried that I needed to find work. Spy said don't worry about it, the universe has a way of swooping in at the last minute, and Edie said she was visualizing money raining down on me.

Well, earlier in the month, I had sold a piece of artwork on eBay for a fairly significant sum but it got lost in the mail. Fortunately, the woman who bought it was absolutely lovely. When I explained the other day that I couldn't file an insurance claim on the loss until 21 days had passed (we'd already waited 14 on a package that was sent 3-day priority) she said she'd like to wait another week to see if it arrived, or have me paint her another one instead of give her money back.

That was extremely nice of her and a big relief to me. So, I said a few prayers that it would find its way to her, or that it would somehow work out.

Yesterday, I gathered my purse and keys to go buy the supplies to make her another one since I'd given up hope that we'd ever see the original again. As I entered the lobby of our building, I saw it. Sitting in front of my mailbox was the package -- returned to sender. I had mislabeled it and they'd sent it back. Now everyone wins. :) I had also told her about another painting I was working on, and she wants me to let her know when I'm finished so she can bid on that. What a sweetheart.

(That was also a welcome change from the fireman fiasco which had started out the morning!)

A little while later, I got an email from a former colleague asking for help with a project she had that's due tomorrow. Well, that meant less writing time, but it also meant more money, so I said, "sure."

A few hours after that, I got an email from my former boss (who is now working where I'd interviewed last Monday) who said that they will be making me a formal offer as soon as they finish with the Human Resources paperwork.

Yippee! More money, but hmm.... did I mention I signed up for Nano again, thinking I'd have time after all?

Today, I got two more emails with requests from others who'd like me to do some contract work for them. One is a fairly significant project due by November 12. It also pays pretty well.

Spy, you were right. :)

Though, did I mention I was trying to finish one novel before the end of October, and another one in November? But did I also mention I was broke and needed the money? LOL

So... Edie....is there any way you can visualize money AND time raining down on me? *grin* Oh, and best sellers for all of us. Thanks, you're the best. :)

Now here's a little bit of fun that I used with NaNoWriMo last year. I can't change the word count, but it does let me change the number of words and the action of the cartoon guy. Since the percentage almost matches my page count #, I thought I'd throw him in. (Of course, I may take Steve's advice and increase my font to 48pt - I should be finished at that rate.) :)

What's a gal to do?

Well, day three of the two-week challenge is moving along swiftly. I discovered something a little while ago. If I post word count on the zokutou meter, the percentage is much less than if I post page count. And if I use Courier font vs. Times, the page count goes even higher. I've wrestled with my conscience, and my ability to rationalize seems to be winning. :)

I mean, many pubs want things in Courier, right? So it should be okay to use that. And my original goal was 280 pages, right? I only estimated that it would be around 70K when I finished with the 280 pages--I didn't make the 70K my initial goal--isn't that true? And besides, if it's less than 70K, most e-pubs consider 60K and above to be full novels, don't they?

Honestly, how can you expect me to be satisfied with a rating of 15.8% finished when I can have 22.1% right now, and the day isn't even over? That's just unreasonable. :)

So how's it going for you LaDonna, Steve, Edie, Marcia, Spy? Any little tips or tricks to keep you going?

Updates, Part 2

Well, sort of.

Not much to report, actually. I haven't lost any more weight, but I haven't gained either, so that's at least good. Will just have to find a way to break through the plateau. However, I did manage to break through a bit of the writing plateau (a.k.a. writer's block, stall, laziness, whatever you want to call it.)

It went like this:

I'd been toying with the idea of doing NaNoWriMo next month, even though I know I'll need to be doing some serious job hunting and/or working then. (The interview I had Monday seemed to go well, but I still don't know anything.) I also just finished a book (one I'd recommend - there were a few issues with it, but overall, she made me laugh on nearly every page) called TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR by Lani Diane Rich. In the author biography, she mentioned the book was one she wrote during NaNoWriMo. I was impressed. I also remembered the book my friend Amber wrote during Nano last year - it was outstanding. Hmm, says I, should I take the plunge?

The only plunge was one of cold, sobering reality. I need November to focus on financial survival. Period. However, I continued to argue with myself, November is still two weeks away. What about Book in a Week? (BIAW) It may not be an official start time, but it might work. Stewart had also posted a short story writing challenge to his group to help break through blocks. There were still opportunities.

I did a bit of research--all of which suggest that rapid writing, writing past the inner critic--would make for magical happenings. I also read a lot of great blogs (mainly to avoid acting on my research) and decided to give myself a two week, 20 page a day challenge.

It started today, folks. I managed 25 pages so far, and I had no idea what I was going to write when I started. I considered finishing the novella, but that wouldn't have lasted more than a day or two. It had to be big, so I went with a kernel of an idea that I'd had floating around since last year, but never followed up on because I really had no idea what to do with it.

So it's true what they say. If you can make it past the inner critic, stifle the inner editor, you CAN just write and write and write. Doesn't mean it will all be good, but it doesn't have to be. The point is to just get it down. Revise later. But, gah, that's hard for me! It was made even harder by some great posts by Bernita and Steve Malley. Their advice kept ringing in my head, slowing me down, but I repeated the mantra, "You will fix it later!" and moved on.

I wrote for 6 hours today with many, many breaks. I can't do that when I work full time, so I want to do it while I can. Let's see if I hold up for two weeks. I hope so. 20 pages/day for 14 days=280 pages. That's 70,000 words or so. More than I've ever written for one piece.

So.... anyone want to join me for a crazy exercise? You don't have to make it 20 pages a day. Just as much as you possibly can every day for two weeks. Somewhere between BIAW and NaNo.

Updates

Hello again. :) Edie, I haven't forgotten about you - just been super busy. I haven't made any more progress on my story (sadly) but I've made progress in other areas. I've lost 4 more pounds, sold 3 craft pieces on eBay (I updated my main website if you'd like to take a look) and have a job interview next week that looks like it's going to work out. (I'd be working in another hospital with my former supervisor - I loved her, just not where we worked before.) I'll keep you posted. As soon as my eBay auctions end and I get everything shipped this week, I'm going to settle down and finish that novella! I promise. I'll have to check out everyone else's progress in a few minutes - hope you are all busy tapping away at the keyboards!

Now, the dear Edie Ramer tagged me to list eight random fact about myself, so let's see what I can come up with.

1. I'm homeschooling my teenage daughter this year. So far, we're using an unschooling method while she gets away from the public school mentality. We'll see how it goes. (See the "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" by Grace Llewellyn for the why of that.)
2. I just starting making Halloween crafts in the last couple of months - a departure from the fine arts I've been used to.
3. I have a large collection of Harry Potter memorabilia. Professor Snape is my favorite.
4. I love men with big noses. (Could explain the Snape fascination, lol)
5. I speak Spanish fluently, understand most Italian, and know a few words of Russian.
6. I miss my cat. My friend said if I say this one more time she's going to slap me, since all I ever did was complain about that demon cat from hell - so don't tell anyone I said so. :)
7. I believe in the power of the mind to alter circumstances.
8. I am so severely sleep deprived right now I can't think of an eighth fact. :)

Seriously, I need to sleep. Just the other day, I misspelled my own name. It's that bad. 8-)

Magical Monday - Medicine

I had started this on Monday, then my daughter needed the computer. I had lots of fascinating things to say--things that would have kept you on the edge of your seat, gasping in amazement--however, I lost my train of thought once I had to sign off. Nevertheless, here's the gist of it...

Fake surgery works as well as real surgery. (See the book "The Biology of Belief" by Bruce Lipton)

Placebos work as well as "real" medicine. (See just about any medical publication)

Fake acupuncture works the same as real acupuncture. See the following article:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070924/ap_on_he_me/back_pain_acupuncture

Perhaps our thoughts are the most powerful medicine we can use.

I get by with a little help from my friends...

Thanks to the fabulous Edie Ramer, I was inspired to put two new progress bars on my blog in an effort to keep myself on track. (We'll see how well that goes - I hold the gold metal for rationalizing my way out of anything.) :)

Now that I see I'm 33.2% finished with a story I was going to submit to Ellora's Cave, I'm motivated to get back to work on that puppy. Not a bad idea since the deadline for that particular line is 11/15, meaning it will need to be finished and polished by the end of October.

(If watching progress bars interests you, scroll down to nearly the bottom of the page and it's there on the left.)

One of my CP's from AZ and I were both published within a few months of one another last year, and while I haven't finished anything since, she's gone on to have four more books published. While I am thrilled for her, and she deserved it, I stopped and asked myself last night, what is holding me back? The only answer is: me.

So, here's to a good swift kick in the pants. It's time to get busy. Time to let that nagging little blue scroll bar and my friend's success spur me to work a little harder.

Are there any tricks or tips you'd like to share about how you motivate yourself? Please note, if you're one of those sickeningly organized people who never procrastinate, I don't want to hear from you. ;) Just kidding - I'd love to know how you do it.

Holy Mackeral!

It just occurred to me that Nanowrimo is upon us again. Can a year have passed already? I was saddened to see that it was time for the Golden Heart entries again, too - I had told myself last year that I would have something to enter. Gracious, time does fly and, as usual, I'm unprepared.

Oh, well. How are the rest of you doing with your goals from this past year? There are only have a couple of months left of 2007 - still not over, but time to get on the stick if you haven't done so already!

Just Had to Share

I was doing a bit of research for something I wanted to blog about and came across these great articles. Though they are written for screenwriters, they apply to any type of fiction. I considered doing a breakdown of each, but they can explain it so much more eloquently than I, so go... read them. You'll be glad you did.

On writing great love stories: http://www.writersstore.com/article.php?articles_id=11

On using the mind to create success (a Magical Monday on Saturday:) http://www.writersstore.com/article.php?articles_id=847

On creating great characters: http://www.writersstore.com/article.php?articles_id=8

GMC

And I don't mean General Motors.

Good old Goals, Motivation and Conflict. How I've scoffed at them, disdained their relevance, pshawed the very idea. How they've come back to bite me in the butt.

I mentioned a dream I had last night in a reply to Sidney from my previous post. Before I went to bed, I'd been wondering what to do about a WIP, how to fix the fact that it seemed a little dull. I proceeded to have a dream where one of the main characters spoke to me. Although he spoke about himself and the heroine in third person, his advice was "Send them on a quest."

He told me they needed to do something. Search for something. He said even if I just sent them to the grocery store, they needed to be looking for something.

I woke up and realized "he" was right. They weren't doing anything--mainly sitting around thinking about each other. Their motivations weren't clear, their goals nebulous at best. Conflict--not so much. Sure, there was some, but none of it was earth shattering. There wasn't much action or growth.

Who knew these things were important to a good story? :P

Sigh... now I have to go back and figure out what these people really want, why they want it, and how they might try to get it. Maybe even throw in a roadblock or two. And I here had a hard enough time just giving them names...

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, C.S. Harris has a great blog about "punching up" paragraphs. Well worth the read. (Of course, her blogs always are.)

Originality?

Turn on King of the Hill voice... "Dang it Dale!"... Turn off Hank Hill voice....

So, I mentioned in my Barbara Cartland wannabe post that I was working on a short story that I liked. A story whose characters made me smile.

Well, I'll be darned if I didn' t come across an email ad today from a publisher offering a story almost exactly like mine. The age difference between the characters was even the same! (Older woman/younger man) Actually, it was like mine only flipped - she works for him, instead of he works for her; she's domineering instead of timid. Just different enough to make it look like I'd tried to copy hers without completely plagiarizing it.

Hmph and double hmph. I've had that happen before too. I get an idea for a story, only to go to the bookstore and find it on the shelf already.

Has that happened to you? I was almost put off finishing the story, but after reading an excerpt from the one advertised, I felt our "voices" were so different that even though there are many similarities, they will still be two distinct stories.

Still... I'm going to sit here and pout a while. You all go on and have fun without me.

Second Chances

A few nights ago, I couldn't sleep. I don't know why - could have had something to do with getting a call after midnight from the police department a few towns away to come pick up my daughter - my daughter whom I had naively thought was spending the night with a friend a few blocks away. It seems she was found in a highly dangerous, gang infested area out past curfew with a couple of her friends. (Long story about the why of that)

Anyway, once she was home and in bed (her second chance used up there - I let her live) I found I couldn't go back to sleep. I had been on a reading spree, but had nothing new around, so I decided to pick up some books from our condo building's library in the lobby. As I rifled through them, I found to my surprise an old category romance by Maggie Shayne. I didn't know she had written category before (I discovered her after her single title series had taken off.) I took it upstairs with me, though I don't often read category, I decided to give it a chance. It was Maggie, after all.

The book was called "The Littlest Cowboy". Sherriff Garrett Brand finds a baby on his doorstep - a baby he's sure isn't his, even though the note attached says the baby was named after him. Chelsea Brennan arrives at the ranch in search of her nephew and answers about her sister's death.

Sounds like normal category fare, no? In many ways, it was. But I also saw glimpses of what made her so popular in other genres. Parts of the book tugged at my heartstrings even when she wasn't trying, some made me laugh out loud. The hero was lovable, the heroine a little hard for me at first, but I came to care about her at the end for her bravery.

I've read a few categories lately and have been happy to give them a second chance. The Silhouette "Raintree" series is another example of category that I really liked.

Another second chance book for me was Nora Robert's "Morrigan's Cross." I'd tried to read it a few times since I'd heard such good things about it, but couldn't get into it. In desperation one night because I had no new books, I decided to give it another go. I didn't reread anything in the first few chapters even though I didn't remember any of it because I'd never made it beyond that point before. So, I started around chapter 3 or 4 and ended up really liking the book and look forward to reading the rest in the series.

I don't often give books a second chance. In fact, if a book does anything to seriously annoy me in the first few chapters, I'll usually toss it aside never to look at it again. (See Marcia Colette's funny take on this issue.)

Now I'm wondering if perhaps I've been too hasty. What about you - are there any books you decided to give a second chance and ended up liking?

Identity Crisis

I recently purchased a Katie Melua CD and like it a lot, but I found a review of her music on the web that struck a chord with me. (no pun intended :)

The reviewer mentioned that it was obvious by the several different styles and covers of her music that she was still trying to find her niche.

Hmm.... I went. Hmmm....

Last night, after transcribing handwritten chapters of my latest short story targeted to Ellora's Cave, I had a dream that I was still writing that book. Now, I know I've posted on here before that I think I'm probably not the best person to be writing erotica, and in the dream, I was writing happily away, then became sad when I noticed that the story didn't have enough sex and that the sexual language wasn't graphic enough. I was upset because I liked the story as it was and didn't really want to change it. My characters were sweet, and I really liked how they were coming along.

I woke up realizing that must have been in my subconscious as I wrote because I reread the story, and while there are some graphic details and strong words, it's still pretty tame for erotica. I started wondering if I should just stay true to the story and characters as they present themselves and have to target another publisher, or try to force them to fit the style for Ellora's Cave.

Woe is me. I really wanted to do this for EC - I'd like to have something published by them, I just would. However, not sure if this one will make it. Sigh.

Have you ever tried to force your writing to take a turn to satisfy a publisher/editor/"the market" and if so, how did that turn out?

Inspiration

The Author's Prayer

"Our Father, which art in Heaven,
And has also written a book..."

That made me laugh out loud when I read it. I uncovered that gem at a website the great and fabulous Edie Ramer sent me today. She and some other authors have put together an inspirational site for writers that is definitely worth a visit (or several.) Here's the link: The Write Attitude - Inspiration for Writers.

If you need some inspiration, a kick in the pants, or both, that's the place to find it. :) I'm adding the label "Magical Mondays" to this post in spite of the fact that it's Tuesday, because this link came to me at exactly the right time, which is part of what my "Magical Monday" posts were about - the "coincidences" that fill our lives with magic.

Enjoy. :)

Spaghetti Days

There is a chapter in the book MAKING A LIVING WITHOUT A JOB, where the author exhorts the reader to treasure their "spaghetti days" - those days before they make it big and are living on spaghetti. She says to chronicle them, because one day you will look back and remember them fondly, even if they are difficult at the time.

Well, I'm entering into spaghetti days right now (though in our house, it's more like rice & beans with the occassional enchilada thrown in.) :) I handed in my resignation for the fourth time in three years, and while they once again tried to suck me back in, I only agreed to work two days a week through the end of October while my replacement gets up to speed.

You see, I realized that there are other things that are far more important to me than working for an outfit that I can no longer emotionally support. Things like taking care of my daughter and myself. Things that make me happy like writing and painting. The arthritis in my hands is getting so bad that there are days when I take my hand off the mouse and it remains in that clawed shape for several painful minutes after while I try to massage it loose.

It occurred to me that I don't want to spend years being unhappy and lose the use of my hands when I could be using them for things that I enjoy while I still can.

However, what that means, is that for a while I'll be quite entrenched in spaghetti days. And only when I can buy boxes 4 for a dollar. :)

I've been planning on starting a small publishing company, as well as sell my artwork online and elsewhere, but have run into a couple of small legal snafus which I hope to smooth out in the next month or two. I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, Magical Musings recently posted a link to the inspiring account of Sherrilyn Kenyon's journey to publication and all she went through. You can read it here. (Scroll down to the part called "And here's the story of how I got to where I am." It is worth the read.

Wish me luck as I move forward, as I'll be wishing it for all of you.

Th..th...That's All Folks!

After a very strange (and strained) start to the year, I'll be once more temporarily MIA around here. This is probably the last chance I'll have to blog for a while (not that I've been so regular lately - like I said, it's been an odd first half of the year!)

My computer will be in storage for the month of June while I shuffle around from place to place, homeless for a month, until my new place is available the first week of July. I do have a housesitting gig from June 19-July 4, so it's really only the first part of June I have to worry about. I imagine we'll be in a hotel, but I hate to leave my daughter alone in a hotel (she's almost 15) while I'm at work all day, so we're trying to find friends for her to stay with during that time.

Edie, you said things come in threes, I hope this is the last round! ;) Actually, I have three (no, four!) good things to look forward to in July. I'll have someplace to live (yay!), my daughter's birthday is the 14th, Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix comes out 7/13, followed by the last book on the 21st. *grin* It's the little things in life, ya know? :)

So, anyhoodles, I'll be away for a while, though I imagine I'll be logging in from work from time to time to read your blogs. Just don't tell anybody. :)

Meanwhile, I recommend Linda Howard's "Raintree: Inferno" from this month's Silhouette Nocturne. I just finished it last night and am looking forward to the next installments of the Raintree trilogy. The only thing I didn't like, was the fact that she left me hanging and the next two books will be written by two different authors. (I'm guessing that was the deal with this series.) Though it will be interesting to see what the other two do with it and how they tie her story in with theirs.

As I read, I could see why she is a best-selling author. Her writing style is fast, clean and fun. There were only one or two very minor blips that she and the editors didn't catch, but nothing dealbreaking (little things like using the same word twice in a sentence). The truth is, I just bought this book because it was small, on sale, she wrote it, and I liked the cover. :) I intended to read it to study her style and ended up impressed with her pacing and economy of details, as well as the realism - her heroine had to pee and brush her teeth. :D You don't see that often, and the way it was written was funny and realistic.

So there ya go. Have a great holiday weekend, and I'll see you around. :)

Publishers

Since a few male (and non-romance writing) readers have suggested lately that they might try their hands at romance and/or erotic romance, I thought I’d list a few publishers here. (Spyscribbler - check out Juno Books for books about strong female characters in roles other than the usual - I believe you were looking for something like that lately. :) (Unless I have you confused with someone else! lol)

Note: None of these publishers require agents to submit, and some are also open to genres other than romance.

In alphabetical order:

Aphrodites Apples (new e-publisher; they published my story “Unmasked” in their Masquerade anthology, volume 3. I’ve found them to be very nice and responsive - a fun group of women currently run this company)

Aspen Mountain (e-publisher of most genres)

Avon (large mainstream publisher of “large” romance - usually historical romance)

Cerridwen Press (e-books & paperbacks of most genres - the non-erotic offshoot of Ellora’s Cave)

Changeling Press (e-publisher of all genres of erotica - (romance/horror/sci-fi/fantasy, etc.) have been around a few years)

Cobblestone Press (e-pub, mainly romance & erotica)

Dorchester (large mainstream publisher of most genres of romance)

Ellora's Cave (e-books & paperbacks of erotic romance - was one of the first and largest publishers of romantic erotica in e-book form)

eXstacy eBooks (e-publisher of erotica and erotic romance)

Harlequin (large, mainstream, many imprints and “flavors”)

Juno Books (small, mainstream with focus on strong female characters - publishes mainly fantasy - not really romance, though can have romantic elements - their books look really interesting.)

Kensington (large mainstream publisher of most genres of romance)

Medallion Press (small mainstream - current openings many genres)

Mundania Press (small mainstream publisher - closed for submission until later this year - but check back)

Penguin-DAW (large mainstream publisher - this particular imprint of Penguin publishes fantasy and sci-fi, also with romance - you can check their ROC imprint as well for guidelines.)

Phaze (e-publisher of erotica/romance - been around a while)

Quanum Kiss (e-publisher of short romances - pays flat $10 for each accepted submission)

Quill Pen (online pulp fiction magazine)

Red Sage (mainstream publisher - paperback erotic romance)

Samhain Publishing (mainly e-pub, but also some paperback, most genres with a lot of focus on erotic - currently only open to special themes so check their website for details. I have friends published with them, I’ve had exchanges with them also, and they seem very nice.)

Sourcebooks (small mainstream publisher, currently open to most genres of romance; also publishes non-fiction)

Stardust Press (new e-publisher - publishes most genres, though currently seems focused on erotic romance)

Tiger Publication (small, new mainstream publisher, but seem responsive & with big plans)

Tor-Forge (large mainstream publisher of sci-fi, fantasy and paranormal romance)

Triskelion (mainly e-pub, but also some paperback, most genres with a lot of focus on erotic romance - also currently actively looking for horror, fantasy and graphic novels)

Twighlight Fantasies (new e-pub of erotic romance)

Whispers (new e-publisher of erotic romance)

Whiskey Creek Press (e-publisher of mainly erotic romance)

A Shout Out to My Friends...

So many writer friends (online & in person) have had good news lately that I can barely keep up with it, but just thought I'd share a few highlights. To anyone I've forgotten, please forgive me. I'm working on 3 hours sleep here. :)

In no particular order:

Charles Allen Gramlich - his book, "Swords of Talera" is now available at Amazon. See his May 5th blog for the interesting story of how that came about. Like LaDonna, (see below) he kept it's contract a secret and I don't know how they do it. :)

Cynthia Eden received a 3 book deal from Kensington. Yay, Cynthia!

LaDonna Paulette has contracted two books with Tiger Publications. I am so happy for her! click on her name to read all about it.

Liz Kreger's "Forget About Tomorrow" will be coming out in paperback soon - Liz is an inspiration on many levels.

And last but not least, my dear CP, Amber , now has three books being published this year by various publishers. I am so happy and excited for her, but probably not nearly as much as she is - you see, not only is her dream of being published coming true, so is her dream of having another baby - a baby girl to go with her sweet little boy. Congratulations, Amber! :)

I know there are plenty of others - Stewart Sternberg has had some short stories published online recently; Mackenzie McKade just keeps churning them out - I've lost count how many she has now!

To all of you, congratulations. You make me want to do more. :)

Boggarts

A month or so ago, my daughter and I were discussing the boggarts from Harry Potter - monsters that take the form of what you fear most. We were trying to figure out what our boggarts might look like, but couldn't immediately come up with an answer. You'd think that it would be simple, but it wasn't.

Some things seemed obvious - what if something terrible happened to my daughter? But then again, what if something happened to me before she was old enough to be on her own? There's no one I can trust to look after her. Or what if I went completely broke, became homeless and couldn't care for her?

Well, soon after, I got sick and it was a scare for her and me (though I'm doing better now, thanks) then the payroll department at work messed up and didn't process my FMLA as sick leave, so I was out of a paycheck at the same time my ex decided he didn't feel like paying child support and is now two months behind - JUST when the people I've been subletting from said they needed to come back and I have to be out by the end of the month, and have no clue where or how I'll move. I'll not only not have the finances for it, but I also won't have much physical help packing & moving. My daughter has been fainting for some reason lately and hit her head on some bricks when she went down the other day. We spent 4 hours in the emergency room, where fortunately her EKG and CT were normal, but she does have a concussion. (She still has follow-up appointments with her doctor, but they seem to think it's probably just low blood sugar and nothing too serious, thank goodness.) Plus, this week she received all day detention every Saturday through the end of the school year for skipping so many classes.

So, let's see here... what did I say my biggest fears were?

That'll teach me.

But in spite of it, I'm surprisingly hopeful that things will work. I've only gotten tiny tastes of my biggest fears lately, and while they were nerve wracking, I'm grateful it wasn't worse.

I used to think one of my biggest fears would be revealing too much about myself and appearing foolish. I also used to fret over what people would think/say about my work. You know what? That's nothing. Barely worth giving a second thought.

Stewart blogged today about looking for that delicious thrill of fear that he used to get from horror stories or his own imagination, but which no longer have much effect. I think it's just that real life has so many boggarts hiding in every cupboard that ghosts and ghoulies are child's play in comparison.

What does your boggart look like? Have you ever used it in your writing?