So, it's been almost two years - wow! - since my last post (which was, coincidentally, about transformation) and now I'm here to talk about what a difference a year (or two) makes. Almost two years ago, I decided to pursue more of my digital design work due to competing priorities. This met with varying success - sometimes more business than I could handle on top of too much "day job" duties made me have to put it on hiatus for a while, then started up again last year. I hadn't been blogging much in the past few years anyway, since work and Facebook seemed to be where most of my social time was spent.
Anyway, 2014 was full of challenges and rewards. Day job was a bear as always (working 50-100 hours per week), and my part-time gig, Sterling Design Studio, was also keeping me fairly busy. Then at the beginning of October, my wonderful boss was let go and our whole department was combined with another, less worker-friendly department in an unexpected restructuring. From then onward, I was miserable, overworked, and really not liking the way things were headed. I'd already been having to turn business away because of work conflicts, but with the new supervisor, I was going to have to cut back or even quit the artwork altogether.
About that time I ran across three things that had a major impact: the books "Be a Free Range Human" by Marianne Cantwell and "Escape From Cubicle Nation" by Pamela Slim, and this video of a commencement speech by Jim Carrey.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/maycie/this-61-second-video-of-jim-carreys-commencement-speech-will?utm_term=.da6OkYAZq&sub=3324049_3121257
There's more about what transpired here (SM Freedman Blog) in an interview that I gave to S.M. Freedman, author of the "The Faithful" and one of my clients. (Side note regarding that book: one of Oprah Winfrey's staff read it and liked it enough to give to Oprah to read, and suggested it for her book club. Congratulations to S.M. Freedman - a great writer and a wonderful person!)
Anyway, to make a long story short: I quit my day job. Am now a full-time artist and writer - just like I've always wanted to be. :) Where it will lead from here, who knows... but at least I plan on enjoying the journey while I can.
So, that's my recent big news - what's up in your world that you'd like to share?
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Monday, January 02, 2012
And now for the rest of the year....
I've heard that how you spend either New Year's Eve or New Year's Day is how you'll spend the rest of the new year. Not that I believe it or anything (grin), but so far, it has always proved true for me. So, this past weekend I made sure to be productive. :)
Of course, NYE wasn't as productive as NYD, but I'm telling myself it was still time well spent - mainly relaxing, getting caught up on blog friends' posts, spending time with my daughter, and planning ahead for the following week. Yesterday involved a lot of cleaning, organizing, reading, plotting, budget forecasting, cooking, and making healthy food choices. If the rest of the year goes the same, I could live with that. :)
Sidney Williams had a nice blog about the challenge of keeping the old tooshey in the chair and the hands on the keyboard, and I took away some good tips from his link to the Pomodoro Technique. I'm putting them into practice today.
Also, if you haven't read Edie Ramer's Cattitude yet, it's available free until tomorrow.
Charles Gramlich also has a new, humorous book out: Days of Beer: A Memoir of a Beer Drinkin' Man.
And I'm happy to report that Avery DeBow is planning to get back into the writing and publishing scene this year. I look forward to seeing what she comes up with.
These are just a few things off the top of my head - I'm sure there's much more news. How are you hoping to spend this year?
Of course, NYE wasn't as productive as NYD, but I'm telling myself it was still time well spent - mainly relaxing, getting caught up on blog friends' posts, spending time with my daughter, and planning ahead for the following week. Yesterday involved a lot of cleaning, organizing, reading, plotting, budget forecasting, cooking, and making healthy food choices. If the rest of the year goes the same, I could live with that. :)
Sidney Williams had a nice blog about the challenge of keeping the old tooshey in the chair and the hands on the keyboard, and I took away some good tips from his link to the Pomodoro Technique. I'm putting them into practice today.
Also, if you haven't read Edie Ramer's Cattitude yet, it's available free until tomorrow.
Charles Gramlich also has a new, humorous book out: Days of Beer: A Memoir of a Beer Drinkin' Man.
And I'm happy to report that Avery DeBow is planning to get back into the writing and publishing scene this year. I look forward to seeing what she comes up with.
These are just a few things off the top of my head - I'm sure there's much more news. How are you hoping to spend this year?
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Lies We Tell Ourselves
You're not good enough...You have nothing to say...You'll never finish this, because you never finish anything...You lack what it takes to follow through...You should give up now because you're wasting your time...No one will ever read this...
And so on.
Vicious, nasty inner critics that have paralyzed my writing for days, weeks, sometimes even years. All based on one thing: Fear. Fear I'll never get published; fear that I will. Fear no one will read it; fear someone will. Fear it will be bad; fear it will be good. You name the inner conflict, I've felt it. And apparently, I'm not alone.
I've just finished reading a book on overcoming writer's block by Karen Peterson called "Write. 10 Days to Overcome Writer's Block. Period." In it, she promotes the idea that the left and right sides of our brains put out conflicting information when we're afraid of something, and gives some exercises to help figure out how to get around that, such as writing and answering certain questions using first our dominant hand, then the non-dominant hand to see where the conflict might lie. She also gave lists of things to check off, using alternating hands.
I really didn't expect to see different answers for the questions, but was astounded when I did the exercises: my left hand really didn't know what my right hand was doing!
For example, for months I've been plagued by the thought that I have nothing to say, therefore, I shouldn't write (not even blog - that's a big reason why my blogging has been so sporadic.) But when I checked off the lists of questions that included "I have nothing to say" and "I have so much to say I don't know where to start" I actually checked both - each with a different hand, and didn't realize it.
Using more information from the book, I delved a little deeper into that conflict, and realized that in fact, I have a LOT to say, but have been terrified of saying it; which is why for almost a year, I haven't said much of anything. I also realized where the source of that fear came from and have been able to smack it down.
It was quite an interesting exercise. I have a way to go yet, but found it helpful.
Meanwhile, to deal with that critic who keeps telling me I can never finish anything, I also took a long look through my hard drive. Yes, I did find 22 incomplete manuscripts. But I also found 11 completed. "Hah! Take THAT, inner critic!" Obviously, I can write a story from beginning to end.
Then on to the next lie: "You'll never get published and no one will ever read/like what you've written." For some reason, that's been a persistent belief, until I realized that I've only ever submitted 3 stories, and all three were published, and all three had strangers write to say they enjoyed them.
So, roll up your sleeves, it's time for the inner critic smackdown! Kick those doubters to the curb! What lies has your inner critic told you that you were able to prove wrong? And didn't you feel like Rocky when you knocked them out? :)
And so on.
Vicious, nasty inner critics that have paralyzed my writing for days, weeks, sometimes even years. All based on one thing: Fear. Fear I'll never get published; fear that I will. Fear no one will read it; fear someone will. Fear it will be bad; fear it will be good. You name the inner conflict, I've felt it. And apparently, I'm not alone.
I've just finished reading a book on overcoming writer's block by Karen Peterson called "Write. 10 Days to Overcome Writer's Block. Period." In it, she promotes the idea that the left and right sides of our brains put out conflicting information when we're afraid of something, and gives some exercises to help figure out how to get around that, such as writing and answering certain questions using first our dominant hand, then the non-dominant hand to see where the conflict might lie. She also gave lists of things to check off, using alternating hands.
I really didn't expect to see different answers for the questions, but was astounded when I did the exercises: my left hand really didn't know what my right hand was doing!
For example, for months I've been plagued by the thought that I have nothing to say, therefore, I shouldn't write (not even blog - that's a big reason why my blogging has been so sporadic.) But when I checked off the lists of questions that included "I have nothing to say" and "I have so much to say I don't know where to start" I actually checked both - each with a different hand, and didn't realize it.
Using more information from the book, I delved a little deeper into that conflict, and realized that in fact, I have a LOT to say, but have been terrified of saying it; which is why for almost a year, I haven't said much of anything. I also realized where the source of that fear came from and have been able to smack it down.
It was quite an interesting exercise. I have a way to go yet, but found it helpful.
Meanwhile, to deal with that critic who keeps telling me I can never finish anything, I also took a long look through my hard drive. Yes, I did find 22 incomplete manuscripts. But I also found 11 completed. "Hah! Take THAT, inner critic!" Obviously, I can write a story from beginning to end.
Then on to the next lie: "You'll never get published and no one will ever read/like what you've written." For some reason, that's been a persistent belief, until I realized that I've only ever submitted 3 stories, and all three were published, and all three had strangers write to say they enjoyed them.
So, roll up your sleeves, it's time for the inner critic smackdown! Kick those doubters to the curb! What lies has your inner critic told you that you were able to prove wrong? And didn't you feel like Rocky when you knocked them out? :)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Times, they are a changin'
Day after tomorrow I'll be taking my daughter to the airport, where she'll board a plane for Phoenix with very little by way of plan once she arrives. My brother is at least going to pick her up and let her stay with him for a week or two while she looks for an apartment and/or roommates. And she won't listen to anyone who tries to talk her out of this.
At her age, I was much the same. Sometimes, I still am willing to take that blind leap of faith with no net. BUT, I'm her mother, so that's different. :) I'm also currently, as she would put it, "tweaking out" badly. My nerves are shot.
Meanwhile, to take my mind off this, I read an old Kathleen E. Woodiwiss novel the other day, and realized about three pages into it, that it would never have been accepted for publication today. Editors and agents would have passed immediately without reading beyond the first couple of pages due to all the head-hopping, impossible point of view sentences, and info dumps. The book was published in 1982, and in the 70's and 80's, Ms. Woodiwiss's books were always best sellers.
I did find the story hard to follow sometimes because of the same-sentence point of view shifts, and can see why that became a major no-no. But other times the head hopping actually added a bit for me when it kept the pace moving, rather than having to start another lengthy bit with another character's POV. I just found it ironic that a best seller from twenty years ago would not get very far if the first few chapters were submitted to an agent or editor today.
I wonder how things will change over the next two decades? Any thoughts?
At her age, I was much the same. Sometimes, I still am willing to take that blind leap of faith with no net. BUT, I'm her mother, so that's different. :) I'm also currently, as she would put it, "tweaking out" badly. My nerves are shot.
Meanwhile, to take my mind off this, I read an old Kathleen E. Woodiwiss novel the other day, and realized about three pages into it, that it would never have been accepted for publication today. Editors and agents would have passed immediately without reading beyond the first couple of pages due to all the head-hopping, impossible point of view sentences, and info dumps. The book was published in 1982, and in the 70's and 80's, Ms. Woodiwiss's books were always best sellers.
I did find the story hard to follow sometimes because of the same-sentence point of view shifts, and can see why that became a major no-no. But other times the head hopping actually added a bit for me when it kept the pace moving, rather than having to start another lengthy bit with another character's POV. I just found it ironic that a best seller from twenty years ago would not get very far if the first few chapters were submitted to an agent or editor today.
I wonder how things will change over the next two decades? Any thoughts?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Dream a little dream with me...
Amber Scott had a fun challenge on her blog the other day. Basically, it's a 10 minute meditation/positive visualization exercise where you hold a strong image of your heart's desire in your mind for ten minutes a day for one week. She is going to check back on everyone in a week to see how they feel.
I threw my hat in the ring... sat down to do my ten minutes... and realized I had no idea what my heart's desire really was! That turned into two days of just spending those ten daily minutes asking my subconscious to dig up what I really wanted, what would make me glow with happiness. But make it something selfish, please. Sure, we'd all like world peace, an end to hunger, etc. But what about ME? What would tingle my pringle in the meantime while we're all hoping for whirled peas?
Then, quite strongly, I had an image of myself in the kitchen, painting. It was a flashback to a day when I realized I was really happy, and that I had never been so happy in my life. That was almost three years ago now, and I haven't felt that good since. I miss it. And the key to that happiness was that I was solely working for myself, on my own schedule, doing the things I love to do. I was writing, painting, and sculpting daily. My daughter and I were spending enjoyable moments together - there was no stress of going to a day job I hated. I had enough money to get by then. That was it. That's what I want.
That's not too much to ask, is it? Now, you try it. Feel free to share it here if you want, or just hold it close to your heart and smile mysteriously. :)
Meanwhile, today is my daughter's 18th birthday, Lana Gramlich has a new book of her photographs out, and her husband, Charles, just published a collection of Westerns. Congratulations to all. :)
I threw my hat in the ring... sat down to do my ten minutes... and realized I had no idea what my heart's desire really was! That turned into two days of just spending those ten daily minutes asking my subconscious to dig up what I really wanted, what would make me glow with happiness. But make it something selfish, please. Sure, we'd all like world peace, an end to hunger, etc. But what about ME? What would tingle my pringle in the meantime while we're all hoping for whirled peas?
Then, quite strongly, I had an image of myself in the kitchen, painting. It was a flashback to a day when I realized I was really happy, and that I had never been so happy in my life. That was almost three years ago now, and I haven't felt that good since. I miss it. And the key to that happiness was that I was solely working for myself, on my own schedule, doing the things I love to do. I was writing, painting, and sculpting daily. My daughter and I were spending enjoyable moments together - there was no stress of going to a day job I hated. I had enough money to get by then. That was it. That's what I want.
That's not too much to ask, is it? Now, you try it. Feel free to share it here if you want, or just hold it close to your heart and smile mysteriously. :)
Meanwhile, today is my daughter's 18th birthday, Lana Gramlich has a new book of her photographs out, and her husband, Charles, just published a collection of Westerns. Congratulations to all. :)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Back to the Drawing Board
Well, it's been a hectic couple of months with many stops, starts, and sputters. I'll spare you the gory details and get right to lessons learned.
One, life is tricky, messy and unpredictable. (Yeah, you'd think I'd know that already, but I seem to keep needing reminders.)
Two, sometimes because of number one above, you just have to hit the reset button and start over.
Three, starting over can be a good thing.
The whole Maine move is on hold right now (job description & funding changed, they offered the possibility of another one in a few months - but too late for me due to lease renewal dates.)
Soooooooo, that gave me a little more time to think about things and where I *hope* to be headed over the next year. (Notice I said "hope" - not plan. I'm done with planning for now. I'll just hope, try to do what I can, and see what shakes out, because really, we don't have nearly as much control over things as we'd like.)
Thus, saddled with my "what now?" funk, I had a little more time on my hands last weekend and attended an intense online workshop with Cobblestone Press on creating cover art. At the end of it, they chose to contract three new cover artists - and one of them was me. That was unexpected and exciting. :)
At some point during that weekend, I had mentioned to someone how once, after reading a story I'd written, a friend of mine made the comment that I should stick to painting. Ouch. Then, after seeing 5 new reader reviews of Managing Maggie on Fictionwise (the scale being great, good, ok, and poor) - one said great, one good, two just ok, and one said it was poor. Ouch again. Even if you take out the cheerleader and the hater, you're still left with just one "good" and two "meh, it was ok. Take it or leave it."
It made stop and think about what I was doing, what needed work, and whether I'm really cut out for this. I have to admit I felt like throwing in the towel. But after a few hours of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to use it to my advantage. It made me even more determined to prove them wrong, just like I did with that "stick to artwork, babe" friend of mine. (Just for the record, I was published before she was, so *there* pfft.) ;)
It also made me realize I was shortchanging the readers who kindly took a chance on me when I didn't give it everything I had. So now, I'm back to the drawing board. Lots of work ahead of me. I just hope I'm up to the task.
Any insights into your own life/writing lately that you'd like to share? Anything in particular you do to pick yourself up and start over?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Magical Mondays - Three Wishes
Ah, my friends, I am tired. So tired. My crazy schedule on top of some health issues lately has just been kicking my butt. As I lay stewing in my own misery the other evening, I asked myself what did I need to focus on, visualize, wish for, in order to feel better. My mind did its usual kickstart of "money" but I knew that while it would certainly help, by itself, it isn't enough. I started digging deeper and realized that there are only three things I need, and if I had them on a consistent basis, I could accomplish anything. They are: wisdom, courage and good health.
You see, sometimes, I just don't know what is the right thing to do - that's where wisdom comes in. Sometimes, I know the right thing to do, but lack the courage to follow through. And sometimes, I might know what to do, have the courage to do it, but lack the stamina - that's where I need good health and energy. If I had all three in abundance, life could be grand. :)
So, now I wish those things not only for me, but for all of you as well. I'll be signing petitions with my heart, tucking wishes into my bra, focusing my mind, and hoping all of us are blessed with an abundance of all three. (And that we come about that wisdom as painlessly as possible, lol)
~~~~~~~
And now, because I told her I would, I'm going to show some love to an ebay artmate: http://punkindoodleboo.blogspot.com/2008/04/punkin-doodle-boos-big-pfatt-giveaway.html. And if you comment on her blog, you'll be entered in a drawing to win one of her cute sculptures on May 10. :)Saturday, March 29, 2008
Magical Mondays - Timeless Advice
(Ok, it's Saturday, but I've got so much to do this weekend, I'm afraid I'll forget by Monday! LOL)
I leave you with a message from Napoleon Hill. The ending is really special.
I leave you with a message from Napoleon Hill. The ending is really special.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Touching the Past
I just wanted to share this wonderful blog post for those of you who may not be familiar with Jon Zech.
I'll not tell you what it's about, but trust me, it's great. So is all of his writing, so while you're there, I encourage you to have a look around the archives.
I'll not tell you what it's about, but trust me, it's great. So is all of his writing, so while you're there, I encourage you to have a look around the archives.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Magical Monday - Wish Lists
My original plan for today was to write about some of the synchronistic things that happened when I was packing to move to Arizona a few years ago, but this morning something happened to change my mind.Since I take the train to work, I decided to take a small notebook with me so I could do some writing. After I got settled in and opened it, and I found a list I had made after I'd read the book "Write it Down, Make it Happen." I had forgotten completely about it.
I had listed 104 things that I would like to happen and saw it was dated 9/18/07. That was 15 weeks ago - and when I sat down, reviewed the list carefully and added it up, I saw that 15 of those things have already happened or have started happening. That averages to one per week. Now I just hope the rest come true, say, like that big lottery win. :)
Of course, I did notice that big dummy that I am, I had written that I would like a nice dog and cat. I had really forgotten about that one. If you read this post from my other blog, you'll see how that's turned out.
But I think I'll ask the Universe to hold off on the cat for now. :)
As I looked through the list, there was something else that struck me. Some of things I put that I'd like to have had started to arrive, but I was the one who stopped them in their tracks by my negativity. It was a reminder to think positive and not give up. I had even started the day in a slightly negative frame of mind, so that was a much needed wake up call for the New Year. (Especially considering that I'd made some more boob wishes earlier in the month - one of which was something that was included in the notebook.)
If you haven't read "Write it Down, Make it Happen", I recommend it. What are some of the things you'd like to see happen this upcoming year? Go ahead. Write it down. Make it happen. :)
Saturday, November 03, 2007
And so it goes...
“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.”
-Robert Burns
Marcia Colette (who is still riding high on her first print contract) asked for the final numbers of my two-week challenge.
Sadly, they are what they were in the last post - 84 pages out of 280. My best laid plan was to write as much as I possibly could in the two weeks before November first, when I knew I would have to do some serious job hunting. I decided to try to write at least 20 pages or 5000 words a day (depending on which came first) for those two weeks. (This was an effort to break out of some serious writer's block - or laziness, whatever you want to call it.) :)
Well, as it turned out, I got off to a good start the first 3-4 days, then I got two contract jobs that I needed to take (in order to take care of little details like food and shelter) and those contracts ending up being so much work that I've been putting in 12-15 hour days for the past week and a half. In fact, I need to work this weekend, but I'm taking a short break just to save my sanity. (Not to mention I'm fighting sinusitis with accompanying pain and dizziness.) Nevertheless, I have a lot of work and a Monday deadline looming, so I'll have to get cracking soon.
In the midst of that, I actually even signed up for NaNoWriMo - what can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment.
Soooo..... how did/do I think I'll accomplish all this? I had commented on Spyscribbler's blog recently that I was completely clueless when I started writing. (I'm still fairly clueless, though I like to think I've learned a little.) In some ways, that complete ignorance served me well when I was just starting out. See, I hadn't as yet learned that writing is hard, and getting published even harder. In my naive enthusiasm, I thought I could handle it.
It reminded me of a time, many years ago, when I moved five large bags of something - I believe it was cement mix. See, back then, I only weighed 103 pounds. My (now ex) husband and his brother had left these big bags blocking the back walkway to the porch and I went outside and moved them to the side of the house.
When the guys came home, they wanted to know where the bags were. I showed them where I'd put them. They asked how they got there. I wondered how stupid could they be, and said I put them there. They didn't believe it and asked me to show them. Still mind-boggled at what idiots they were, I picked up a bag and moved it. Sure, it was heavy, but it wasn't impossible.
They were stunned and I still couldn't figure out what the big deal was until I looked more closely at the bags. They weighed a hundred pounds each. The guys had left them in the middle of the sidewalk because they were too heavy to carry for any length of time, yet I'd moved them all several feet away.
There is not a doubt in my mind if I had actually read the weight on the bags before moving them, I wouldn't have been able to do it. In fact, after I knew they weighed only three pounds less than I did, I suddenly couldn't carry them as easily. I had been working on the assumption that they weighed about 40 lbs each. I knew they were heavy, but I had no idea. My ignorance gave me the belief that I could carry them, and I did.
I gave this post the tag "Magical Mondays" (even though it is Saturday) because that experience illustrates the power of belief. I might have done better with my challenge if I hadn't allowed the belief that I was too tired/too stressed to overtake me. On the other hand, since I did so well on the days I wasn't working, I now believe that I can handle Nano. Heck, if I could write 5000+ words a day (the equivalent of moving 100 lb bags for me) I'm sure I can write 1667.
That's all they figure it takes to complete NaNoWriMo. 1667 words a day.
Piece of cake. :)
-Robert Burns
Marcia Colette (who is still riding high on her first print contract) asked for the final numbers of my two-week challenge.
Sadly, they are what they were in the last post - 84 pages out of 280. My best laid plan was to write as much as I possibly could in the two weeks before November first, when I knew I would have to do some serious job hunting. I decided to try to write at least 20 pages or 5000 words a day (depending on which came first) for those two weeks. (This was an effort to break out of some serious writer's block - or laziness, whatever you want to call it.) :)
Well, as it turned out, I got off to a good start the first 3-4 days, then I got two contract jobs that I needed to take (in order to take care of little details like food and shelter) and those contracts ending up being so much work that I've been putting in 12-15 hour days for the past week and a half. In fact, I need to work this weekend, but I'm taking a short break just to save my sanity. (Not to mention I'm fighting sinusitis with accompanying pain and dizziness.) Nevertheless, I have a lot of work and a Monday deadline looming, so I'll have to get cracking soon.
In the midst of that, I actually even signed up for NaNoWriMo - what can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment.
Soooo..... how did/do I think I'll accomplish all this? I had commented on Spyscribbler's blog recently that I was completely clueless when I started writing. (I'm still fairly clueless, though I like to think I've learned a little.) In some ways, that complete ignorance served me well when I was just starting out. See, I hadn't as yet learned that writing is hard, and getting published even harder. In my naive enthusiasm, I thought I could handle it.
It reminded me of a time, many years ago, when I moved five large bags of something - I believe it was cement mix. See, back then, I only weighed 103 pounds. My (now ex) husband and his brother had left these big bags blocking the back walkway to the porch and I went outside and moved them to the side of the house.
When the guys came home, they wanted to know where the bags were. I showed them where I'd put them. They asked how they got there. I wondered how stupid could they be, and said I put them there. They didn't believe it and asked me to show them. Still mind-boggled at what idiots they were, I picked up a bag and moved it. Sure, it was heavy, but it wasn't impossible.
They were stunned and I still couldn't figure out what the big deal was until I looked more closely at the bags. They weighed a hundred pounds each. The guys had left them in the middle of the sidewalk because they were too heavy to carry for any length of time, yet I'd moved them all several feet away.
There is not a doubt in my mind if I had actually read the weight on the bags before moving them, I wouldn't have been able to do it. In fact, after I knew they weighed only three pounds less than I did, I suddenly couldn't carry them as easily. I had been working on the assumption that they weighed about 40 lbs each. I knew they were heavy, but I had no idea. My ignorance gave me the belief that I could carry them, and I did.
I gave this post the tag "Magical Mondays" (even though it is Saturday) because that experience illustrates the power of belief. I might have done better with my challenge if I hadn't allowed the belief that I was too tired/too stressed to overtake me. On the other hand, since I did so well on the days I wasn't working, I now believe that I can handle Nano. Heck, if I could write 5000+ words a day (the equivalent of moving 100 lb bags for me) I'm sure I can write 1667.
That's all they figure it takes to complete NaNoWriMo. 1667 words a day.
Piece of cake. :)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Updates, Part 2
Well, sort of.
Not much to report, actually. I haven't lost any more weight, but I haven't gained either, so that's at least good. Will just have to find a way to break through the plateau. However, I did manage to break through a bit of the writing plateau (a.k.a. writer's block, stall, laziness, whatever you want to call it.)
It went like this:
I'd been toying with the idea of doing NaNoWriMo next month, even though I know I'll need to be doing some serious job hunting and/or working then. (The interview I had Monday seemed to go well, but I still don't know anything.) I also just finished a book (one I'd recommend - there were a few issues with it, but overall, she made me laugh on nearly every page) called TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR by Lani Diane Rich. In the author biography, she mentioned the book was one she wrote during NaNoWriMo. I was impressed. I also remembered the book my friend Amber wrote during Nano last year - it was outstanding. Hmm, says I, should I take the plunge?
The only plunge was one of cold, sobering reality. I need November to focus on financial survival. Period. However, I continued to argue with myself, November is still two weeks away. What about Book in a Week? (BIAW) It may not be an official start time, but it might work. Stewart had also posted a short story writing challenge to his group to help break through blocks. There were still opportunities.
I did a bit of research--all of which suggest that rapid writing, writing past the inner critic--would make for magical happenings. I also read a lot of great blogs (mainly to avoid acting on my research) and decided to give myself a two week, 20 page a day challenge.
It started today, folks. I managed 25 pages so far, and I had no idea what I was going to write when I started. I considered finishing the novella, but that wouldn't have lasted more than a day or two. It had to be big, so I went with a kernel of an idea that I'd had floating around since last year, but never followed up on because I really had no idea what to do with it.
So it's true what they say. If you can make it past the inner critic, stifle the inner editor, you CAN just write and write and write. Doesn't mean it will all be good, but it doesn't have to be. The point is to just get it down. Revise later. But, gah, that's hard for me! It was made even harder by some great posts by Bernita and Steve Malley. Their advice kept ringing in my head, slowing me down, but I repeated the mantra, "You will fix it later!" and moved on.
I wrote for 6 hours today with many, many breaks. I can't do that when I work full time, so I want to do it while I can. Let's see if I hold up for two weeks. I hope so. 20 pages/day for 14 days=280 pages. That's 70,000 words or so. More than I've ever written for one piece.
So.... anyone want to join me for a crazy exercise? You don't have to make it 20 pages a day. Just as much as you possibly can every day for two weeks. Somewhere between BIAW and NaNo.
Not much to report, actually. I haven't lost any more weight, but I haven't gained either, so that's at least good. Will just have to find a way to break through the plateau. However, I did manage to break through a bit of the writing plateau (a.k.a. writer's block, stall, laziness, whatever you want to call it.)
It went like this:
I'd been toying with the idea of doing NaNoWriMo next month, even though I know I'll need to be doing some serious job hunting and/or working then. (The interview I had Monday seemed to go well, but I still don't know anything.) I also just finished a book (one I'd recommend - there were a few issues with it, but overall, she made me laugh on nearly every page) called TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR by Lani Diane Rich. In the author biography, she mentioned the book was one she wrote during NaNoWriMo. I was impressed. I also remembered the book my friend Amber wrote during Nano last year - it was outstanding. Hmm, says I, should I take the plunge?
The only plunge was one of cold, sobering reality. I need November to focus on financial survival. Period. However, I continued to argue with myself, November is still two weeks away. What about Book in a Week? (BIAW) It may not be an official start time, but it might work. Stewart had also posted a short story writing challenge to his group to help break through blocks. There were still opportunities.
I did a bit of research--all of which suggest that rapid writing, writing past the inner critic--would make for magical happenings. I also read a lot of great blogs (mainly to avoid acting on my research) and decided to give myself a two week, 20 page a day challenge.
It started today, folks. I managed 25 pages so far, and I had no idea what I was going to write when I started. I considered finishing the novella, but that wouldn't have lasted more than a day or two. It had to be big, so I went with a kernel of an idea that I'd had floating around since last year, but never followed up on because I really had no idea what to do with it.
So it's true what they say. If you can make it past the inner critic, stifle the inner editor, you CAN just write and write and write. Doesn't mean it will all be good, but it doesn't have to be. The point is to just get it down. Revise later. But, gah, that's hard for me! It was made even harder by some great posts by Bernita and Steve Malley. Their advice kept ringing in my head, slowing me down, but I repeated the mantra, "You will fix it later!" and moved on.
I wrote for 6 hours today with many, many breaks. I can't do that when I work full time, so I want to do it while I can. Let's see if I hold up for two weeks. I hope so. 20 pages/day for 14 days=280 pages. That's 70,000 words or so. More than I've ever written for one piece.
So.... anyone want to join me for a crazy exercise? You don't have to make it 20 pages a day. Just as much as you possibly can every day for two weeks. Somewhere between BIAW and NaNo.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Spaghetti Days
There is a chapter in the book MAKING A LIVING WITHOUT A JOB, where the author exhorts the reader to treasure their "spaghetti days" - those days before they make it big and are living on spaghetti. She says to chronicle them, because one day you will look back and remember them fondly, even if they are difficult at the time.
Well, I'm entering into spaghetti days right now (though in our house, it's more like rice & beans with the occassional enchilada thrown in.) :) I handed in my resignation for the fourth time in three years, and while they once again tried to suck me back in, I only agreed to work two days a week through the end of October while my replacement gets up to speed.
You see, I realized that there are other things that are far more important to me than working for an outfit that I can no longer emotionally support. Things like taking care of my daughter and myself. Things that make me happy like writing and painting. The arthritis in my hands is getting so bad that there are days when I take my hand off the mouse and it remains in that clawed shape for several painful minutes after while I try to massage it loose.
It occurred to me that I don't want to spend years being unhappy and lose the use of my hands when I could be using them for things that I enjoy while I still can.
However, what that means, is that for a while I'll be quite entrenched in spaghetti days. And only when I can buy boxes 4 for a dollar. :)
I've been planning on starting a small publishing company, as well as sell my artwork online and elsewhere, but have run into a couple of small legal snafus which I hope to smooth out in the next month or two. I'll keep you posted.
Meanwhile, Magical Musings recently posted a link to the inspiring account of Sherrilyn Kenyon's journey to publication and all she went through. You can read it here. (Scroll down to the part called "And here's the story of how I got to where I am." It is worth the read.
Wish me luck as I move forward, as I'll be wishing it for all of you.
There is a chapter in the book MAKING A LIVING WITHOUT A JOB, where the author exhorts the reader to treasure their "spaghetti days" - those days before they make it big and are living on spaghetti. She says to chronicle them, because one day you will look back and remember them fondly, even if they are difficult at the time.
Well, I'm entering into spaghetti days right now (though in our house, it's more like rice & beans with the occassional enchilada thrown in.) :) I handed in my resignation for the fourth time in three years, and while they once again tried to suck me back in, I only agreed to work two days a week through the end of October while my replacement gets up to speed.
You see, I realized that there are other things that are far more important to me than working for an outfit that I can no longer emotionally support. Things like taking care of my daughter and myself. Things that make me happy like writing and painting. The arthritis in my hands is getting so bad that there are days when I take my hand off the mouse and it remains in that clawed shape for several painful minutes after while I try to massage it loose.
It occurred to me that I don't want to spend years being unhappy and lose the use of my hands when I could be using them for things that I enjoy while I still can.
However, what that means, is that for a while I'll be quite entrenched in spaghetti days. And only when I can buy boxes 4 for a dollar. :)
I've been planning on starting a small publishing company, as well as sell my artwork online and elsewhere, but have run into a couple of small legal snafus which I hope to smooth out in the next month or two. I'll keep you posted.
Meanwhile, Magical Musings recently posted a link to the inspiring account of Sherrilyn Kenyon's journey to publication and all she went through. You can read it here. (Scroll down to the part called "And here's the story of how I got to where I am." It is worth the read.
Wish me luck as I move forward, as I'll be wishing it for all of you.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Boggarts
A month or so ago, my daughter and I were discussing the boggarts from Harry Potter - monsters that take the form of what you fear most. We were trying to figure out what our boggarts might look like, but couldn't immediately come up with an answer. You'd think that it would be simple, but it wasn't.
Some things seemed obvious - what if something terrible happened to my daughter? But then again, what if something happened to me before she was old enough to be on her own? There's no one I can trust to look after her. Or what if I went completely broke, became homeless and couldn't care for her?
Well, soon after, I got sick and it was a scare for her and me (though I'm doing better now, thanks) then the payroll department at work messed up and didn't process my FMLA as sick leave, so I was out of a paycheck at the same time my ex decided he didn't feel like paying child support and is now two months behind - JUST when the people I've been subletting from said they needed to come back and I have to be out by the end of the month, and have no clue where or how I'll move. I'll not only not have the finances for it, but I also won't have much physical help packing & moving. My daughter has been fainting for some reason lately and hit her head on some bricks when she went down the other day. We spent 4 hours in the emergency room, where fortunately her EKG and CT were normal, but she does have a concussion. (She still has follow-up appointments with her doctor, but they seem to think it's probably just low blood sugar and nothing too serious, thank goodness.) Plus, this week she received all day detention every Saturday through the end of the school year for skipping so many classes.
So, let's see here... what did I say my biggest fears were?
That'll teach me.
But in spite of it, I'm surprisingly hopeful that things will work. I've only gotten tiny tastes of my biggest fears lately, and while they were nerve wracking, I'm grateful it wasn't worse.
I used to think one of my biggest fears would be revealing too much about myself and appearing foolish. I also used to fret over what people would think/say about my work. You know what? That's nothing. Barely worth giving a second thought.
Stewart blogged today about looking for that delicious thrill of fear that he used to get from horror stories or his own imagination, but which no longer have much effect. I think it's just that real life has so many boggarts hiding in every cupboard that ghosts and ghoulies are child's play in comparison.
What does your boggart look like? Have you ever used it in your writing?
Some things seemed obvious - what if something terrible happened to my daughter? But then again, what if something happened to me before she was old enough to be on her own? There's no one I can trust to look after her. Or what if I went completely broke, became homeless and couldn't care for her?
Well, soon after, I got sick and it was a scare for her and me (though I'm doing better now, thanks) then the payroll department at work messed up and didn't process my FMLA as sick leave, so I was out of a paycheck at the same time my ex decided he didn't feel like paying child support and is now two months behind - JUST when the people I've been subletting from said they needed to come back and I have to be out by the end of the month, and have no clue where or how I'll move. I'll not only not have the finances for it, but I also won't have much physical help packing & moving. My daughter has been fainting for some reason lately and hit her head on some bricks when she went down the other day. We spent 4 hours in the emergency room, where fortunately her EKG and CT were normal, but she does have a concussion. (She still has follow-up appointments with her doctor, but they seem to think it's probably just low blood sugar and nothing too serious, thank goodness.) Plus, this week she received all day detention every Saturday through the end of the school year for skipping so many classes.
So, let's see here... what did I say my biggest fears were?
That'll teach me.
But in spite of it, I'm surprisingly hopeful that things will work. I've only gotten tiny tastes of my biggest fears lately, and while they were nerve wracking, I'm grateful it wasn't worse.
I used to think one of my biggest fears would be revealing too much about myself and appearing foolish. I also used to fret over what people would think/say about my work. You know what? That's nothing. Barely worth giving a second thought.
Stewart blogged today about looking for that delicious thrill of fear that he used to get from horror stories or his own imagination, but which no longer have much effect. I think it's just that real life has so many boggarts hiding in every cupboard that ghosts and ghoulies are child's play in comparison.
What does your boggart look like? Have you ever used it in your writing?
Saturday, February 17, 2007
The Power of Hope
As I drove home from work yesterday, I realized a difference in the way I felt after I spoke with my boss/friend compared to how I'd felt when I'd arrived at work that morning. When I got in the car, I knew the difference was hope. I was still aggravated, still worried about how I could work things out, yet I felt ever so slightly different than I had before, and knew it was because there was the tiniest ray of hope. So small you'd miss it if you blinked, but it made a difference.
Last night, I started reading the book, "Making a Living Without a Job" by Barbara Winter, and went to bed at 1:30 am even more hopeful. I feel much better about going to work next week because now I have other things in mind which working there will help me accomplish.
The difference is that before I used tell myself that working there allows me to accomplish certain things: pay bills, buy food, have insurance, etc. But that still didn't make me happy. Mainly because it felt so final.
Now, I'm looking at it as, "Ok, I can get through this stressful week because it will not only give me the money to pay my bills and the insurance to go to the doctor, it will also fund the things that I know I will be doing soon that will make me happy. Then I will be leaving there to work for myself." You'd think that should have been obvious all along but it wasn't, because I didn't really have the hope or belief things would change. I didn't see how they could. I thought I was stuck.
However, one of the best things about this book so far was an example Barbara gave of how she was determined to go to England one year. She didn't have the money to do it, and didn't know how it could happen. But she didn't worry about the HOW. She focused on the WHAT. She visualized herself there every day. She got her passport renewed and put it on her dresser where she'd see it every day. She got travel brochures and guidebooks. She spent every evening planning her trip. She even made this daily affirmation: "I am going to London this year and it will be a gift." That's some affirmation - she didn't even say "I am going to London and I'll be able to afford it" she said it would be a gift.
She went on to enter every contest for a trip to London, but several months passed and nothing. Her birthday was in October, and she thought "Ok, maybe I'll get the gift for my birthday." Birthday came and went and no trip. A couple of weeks later a friend called, said she had a ticket for a trip to London that she wasn't going to be able to use, and would Barbara like to have it.
It took almost a year, but she got exactly what she wanted. She didn't worry about how it would happen, she just kept believing that it would.
It reminded of the time I made a list of the job I wanted and even though I had no idea how that might happen, I carried it around with me all weekend anyway. By that Monday, I had news of it, and a few weeks later, I had the job. Funnily enough, that is now the job I want to leave. It has changed from the time I started--it's no longer the job I applied for and got--so I'm feeling it's time for me move on. Make a new list. And this time, I'm not going to worry so much about how I'll get there. I'll just have faith that I will.
As I drove home from work yesterday, I realized a difference in the way I felt after I spoke with my boss/friend compared to how I'd felt when I'd arrived at work that morning. When I got in the car, I knew the difference was hope. I was still aggravated, still worried about how I could work things out, yet I felt ever so slightly different than I had before, and knew it was because there was the tiniest ray of hope. So small you'd miss it if you blinked, but it made a difference.
Last night, I started reading the book, "Making a Living Without a Job" by Barbara Winter, and went to bed at 1:30 am even more hopeful. I feel much better about going to work next week because now I have other things in mind which working there will help me accomplish.
The difference is that before I used tell myself that working there allows me to accomplish certain things: pay bills, buy food, have insurance, etc. But that still didn't make me happy. Mainly because it felt so final.
Now, I'm looking at it as, "Ok, I can get through this stressful week because it will not only give me the money to pay my bills and the insurance to go to the doctor, it will also fund the things that I know I will be doing soon that will make me happy. Then I will be leaving there to work for myself." You'd think that should have been obvious all along but it wasn't, because I didn't really have the hope or belief things would change. I didn't see how they could. I thought I was stuck.
However, one of the best things about this book so far was an example Barbara gave of how she was determined to go to England one year. She didn't have the money to do it, and didn't know how it could happen. But she didn't worry about the HOW. She focused on the WHAT. She visualized herself there every day. She got her passport renewed and put it on her dresser where she'd see it every day. She got travel brochures and guidebooks. She spent every evening planning her trip. She even made this daily affirmation: "I am going to London this year and it will be a gift." That's some affirmation - she didn't even say "I am going to London and I'll be able to afford it" she said it would be a gift.
She went on to enter every contest for a trip to London, but several months passed and nothing. Her birthday was in October, and she thought "Ok, maybe I'll get the gift for my birthday." Birthday came and went and no trip. A couple of weeks later a friend called, said she had a ticket for a trip to London that she wasn't going to be able to use, and would Barbara like to have it.
It took almost a year, but she got exactly what she wanted. She didn't worry about how it would happen, she just kept believing that it would.
It reminded of the time I made a list of the job I wanted and even though I had no idea how that might happen, I carried it around with me all weekend anyway. By that Monday, I had news of it, and a few weeks later, I had the job. Funnily enough, that is now the job I want to leave. It has changed from the time I started--it's no longer the job I applied for and got--so I'm feeling it's time for me move on. Make a new list. And this time, I'm not going to worry so much about how I'll get there. I'll just have faith that I will.
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